Behind the Scandal Page 10

  She closed her eyes for a moment. “That’s not what this is about. I’m asking as a friend. I don’t have time for anyone else in my life, Taylor.”

  Taylor chuckled, flicking the brim of his hat. “It sure didn’t feel like that when you were kissing me, Blue. Not one bit.”

  Libby spurred her horse forward and galloped ahead. He watched her red hair flap against her back and cursed because she was running, again. They were going around in circles, each kiss causing her to flee or simply bury that it had happened. Never in his life had he pursued a woman like this. He never had the patience, and yet here he was, determined to find out what was eating at her, what kept her brilliant green eyes from shining so bright.

  He questioned himself all the time as to why she was so important to him right now. He understood that he needed a friend; he’d even confessed as much to her. That left him wondering if his attraction to her was false. Was he confusing friendship with affection? Had he fucked up again?

  “Fucking hell,” he spat, tapping Coco’s sides with his heels. Her trot became a gentle canter and, after a bit of coaxing, she galloped forward. He could see Libby up ahead and gripped the reins tight as he followed her. “Blue, stop. Come on, we were just talking.”

  She slowed, turning to face him as he caught up. “That’s the problem. I find I can’t just talk to you. I always want to know more about you. I want to know what drove you to drugs, what made you come here and, more than anything, I want to know why I’m so disgustingly attracted to you.”

  Taylor’s grin spread from ear to ear. “Really? Well, that sure makes this easier.”

  Libby climbed down from her horse, her movements sharp and aggressive. She tied his reins to the fence post, tugged her hat off, and slumped against the wood, folding her arms across her chest. “Deflate your ego a little. It’s not like you had no idea.”

  His feet pounded against the grass as he climbed without grace from Coco. “Doesn’t hurt to hear you say it. For each step forward we take two back. It’s good to get somewhere.”

  Libby glared at him, her entire body going rigid. “And where do you think we’re going? I don’t know you. And I don’t have space for you in my life.”

  “Make room.” He stopped in front of her and met her confused scowl.

  “Don’t tell me what to do. I can’t make room for someone like you. You’re . . . you’re . . .”

  “What? What am I?” He pursed his lips and waited. Any other time he would have been consumed with anger at the way she backtracked, but today, with her, he found the situation—and Libby herself—rather amusing. He’d also noticed that without the cocaine fizzing through his system, he was far calmer and less likely to lash out. His new self was able to process situations and their possible outcomes before he snapped. It was an interesting change in his personality.

  “You’re too much for me,” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “I find myself thinking of you when I should be focusing on other things. That’s why I can’t make room. I can’t afford you. I can’t afford anyone.”

  He reached for her hand and wasn’t surprised when she pulled away.

  “Why is that wrong? I can’t really afford you either. One of the clauses of me coming here was no women. Last time I checked, you were definitely female.”

  “Then we stay away from each other. This won’t work between us, no matter how light we try to keep it. You’re not here to stay, and I, well, I have . . . things.”

  Taylor reared his head back. “Things? What the hell does that mean?”

  Libby lowered her gaze to her muddy boots. “Forget it.” She shook her head, her hair falling forward over her face. “Let’s just forget about the kiss and go back to barely speaking.”

  “Plural,” Taylor said, keeping his tone low. “It wasn’t one kiss.”

  “Whatever,” she said, acting like a hormonal teenager. When had he suddenly become the mature adult? Kyran would be crippled with laughter watching him now.

  Unwilling to let it go any further, he took hold of her wrists and held them at her sides. “Here’s the thing. You’ve known about my flaws. You saw the consequences leaking from my nose as it bled. You’ve seen me sick with stomach cramps and raging with mood swings. You’ve experienced my downfall from the day you met me, and yet you? You’re a mystery.” Libby opened her mouth, but Taylor went on. “I see how loving you are with your son. I see the affection you have for my uncle, and I feel the attraction you have for me, but there’s nothing else. I don’t know anything about you, because you refuse to allow it. Let me in. Let me know you.”

  “Does that come-on usually work for you?” She twisted her hand to loosen his grip.

  “It’s not a come-on. I mean it. Why are you so reluctant to talk to me? Why do I have to chase after you and pin you to the damn fence before you’ll have a decent conversation with me?”

  “We talk,” she said feebly.

  “No, we circle each other.” He let go of her wrists and cupped her face in his hands. “Are you scared? Because right now I feel like you are, and we do our dance because neither one of us wants to admit what’s going on.” Libby bit her lip and tried to turn her face away. “Don’t do this, babe. Fucking talk to me.”

  A tear slipped down her cheek, and he groaned, feeling like a complete bastard. He swiped it away with his thumb and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

  “I don’t know where to start,” she said, her voice shaking. “Nobody knows. Nobody.”

  “And you’re wondering why you should tell the junkie?” he asked.

  “No. No, that’s not the problem.” Another tear fell free. “I’m screwed, Taylor. My whole world is about to crumble, and I won’t drag you into this. I’ve already put Josh at risk.”

  A wave of nausea washed over Taylor, his stomach clenching and twisting with anxiety. He tried to speak, but his throat constricted. His hands shook and he dropped them from her face, taking deep, slow breaths. “How bad is it?”

  A shudder racked her body. “I don’t know. I mean, Josh should be okay, but I have no clue, really. It’s been so long. That’s why I have to leave.”

  “What?” Taylor shouted. He gripped her biceps, and she flinched. It was all it took for something to click within him. The jigsaw pieces slotted together, and he could see the way she tried to lock her feelings down, why she fought to hide from whomever had caused her pain. “Oh, Blue. How badly were you hurt?”

  Her sob made his heart ache, and he wrapped her in his arms as she cried against his chest. Her body shook, and all he could do was hold her tight, kiss the top of her head, and tell her he’d make everything all right again.

  Chapter 12

  Libby’s tears hit Taylor hard. A strong woman crumbling left him with a deep sense of foreboding. Taylor had sensed her fear though he’d never truly expected her walls to topple. But they’d crashed to his feet, leaving a shattered Libby behind.

  Taylor didn’t deal well with people crying. Tears had gotten him nowhere in the past and usually made him feel uncomfortable. Yet when Libby’s tears had started to fall, his first and only instinct had been to comfort her. The woman was getting to him.

  He took her home, remaining silent as he allowed her time to think. He knew how it felt to be backed into a corner. Libby didn’t need him to push her¸ so when they reached her cottage, he left her alone and made coffee.

  “I put extra sugar in it,” he said, bringing a mug into the living room.

  Libby was perched on the edge of her couch, wringing her hands in her lap. Her coat lay discarded on the back of a chair. “I don’t have sugar.”

  “Well, sweetener. You know what I mean.” He placed the mug of coffee on the window ledge next to her and squatted at her feet.

  “I’m leaving, Taylor.”

  “Okay,” he said, even though his heart had begun to ricochet inside his chest. “Is that all I get to know?”

  Libby dropped her head forward and hid behind her hair. “I told you, I don
’t know where to start.”

  Taylor reached for her hands and held them between his. She was cold, and tiny shivers raced down her spine every now and again. Maybe she needed more than a sweet drink. Maybe a scotch would be better. “How about you start with the person who’s scaring you enough to make you bolt?”

  She inhaled sharply. “Chase. I saw Chase while we were in town.” She balled her hands under his. Her bottom lip trembled.

  “And Chase is?”

  Taylor watched her throat move as she swallowed, and when she spoke, he had to turn his ear closer to hear.

  “I . . . I was married. I guess I still am. He was nice at first, gave me everything I could ever want. I couldn’t believe he wanted me. Chase was the most charming man I’d ever met.”

  “But then he changed,” Taylor said. He could guess where this confession was heading, and he didn’t like it one bit.

  “It started small. A little nudge here, a poke there.” She sniffed, her shoulders shaking. “He started to tell me what to do, nicely at first and in such a way I didn’t see it as a demand. He had me thinking I’d chosen to stay in instead of go out after work for drinks, or not to wear a particular outfit. A few times he made a fool of me in front of our friends. But he did it so infrequently I never saw it coming. I was blind. But on our second wedding anniversary he gave me a present I’ll never forget.”

  Dread sloshed in Taylor’s stomach. He didn’t want to hear what came next, didn’t want to accept whatever hell Libby had endured. But he had no choice. Taylor had started to care about her, and seeing the woman messed up, hurt, and confused was the start to helping her work through the situation. He ignored his sickness and listened.

  “I ended up with three broken fingers, a cracked jaw, and a black eye. Among other bruises.”

  “Fucking scumbag!” Taylor spat, shifting to wrap her in his arms. But her tears didn’t return. Instead, her tone turned cold and matter-of-fact. It chilled him to the bone.

  “I’d bought a new dress—for him. It was a bit short, but not indecent or anything. To him, I looked like a slut.” She gulped. “A slap came first. I thought that was degrading enough, but I had no idea. I shouted back at him, told him the dress was to please him. That’s when it escalated. His eyes bulged, and the second I saw his hand clench I knew what was coming. Cowering didn’t help—he just pulled my hand away. Hence the broken fingers. Chase told the doctor I fell down the stairs. Original, huh? I was too shocked to say anything, and after that day I became his slave, always there to do what he asked, always scared he’d lash out. The sex made me vomit afterward. I’d stopped being attracted to him, but I desperately wanted him to return to the charming Chase I’d known. He said he loved me. Damn, I was so fucking naïve.”

  Taylor blinked, startled by her cursing. He hugged her tighter.

  “I’ll spare you the rest. You don’t need to know about every punch, kick, and disgusting grope.”

  “You don’t need to hide anything from me, but I don’t want you going over memories that are so fucking horrible. Shit, Blue, how long did this go on?”

  “I was with him for fourteen months after that.”

  “And he did it again?”

  “Over and over.”

  Taylor hated the way she glossed over her pain. He despised that this was her only way of coping with what Chase had done to her. He and Libby were two fucked-up people trying to patch up the mess of their pasts.

  “So why did you run? Why not let the police deal with it and stay put?”

  She turned her terrified gaze to his, and a single tear clung to her eyelashes. “The day he held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone was the day I found out I was pregnant with Levi.”

  “Jesus.” He lifted his hand and wiped the tear away. “I’m sorry, babe. So sorry.”

  Libby closed her eyes, her shoulders relaxing as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I knew I could only be free of him if I disappeared.”

  “What about your family?”

  “My mom lives out in Bart’s. She doesn’t know about Levi, but she does know what Chase did to me.” She clutched at his wrists. “It kills me that I have to keep Levi from her, but it’s safer this way. For her, me, and Levi.”

  “And what about the police?”

  Libby let go of his wrists and stood. He reached out to stop her, but she shrugged him off and stalked across the room. Turning her back to him, she stared out the window. He couldn’t read her expression anymore.

  “Okay,” he said. “Let’s just drop—”

  “I didn’t go to the police because Chase is the police.”

  “Oh, Libby.”

  She turned to face him. “Yeah, you get it now, don’t you? So you see, I plotted for two months, hiding my pregnancy until I couldn’t any longer. I squirreled away money—money he shouldn’t have had in the first place.” She shook her head with a bitter chuckle. “I’d always felt like he was keeping something from me, other than the monster he really was. I found out he and a few of his colleagues were into laundering money. They stored so much of it in our apartment, he didn’t even notice when I started to take hundreds at a time. I used it to get as far away from him as I could.”

  “You gave birth to Levi alone?” He didn’t bother hiding his shock.

  “Yeah. That was tough. It hurt—both giving birth and being alone at the hospital with no one but the staff. But I dealt with it because nothing was as bad as the way Chase treated me. The thought of being free helped me through the labor. Levi was my driving force, and two weeks after he was born, we moved again. Just to make sure we couldn’t be traced. When I found the ranch, it felt like home. It was the one place I felt safe. The only place I’ve stayed for more than a few months.”

  “Until you saw Chase again.”

  Libby nodded, sadness oozing from her every pore. “Now you see why I have to leave. He can’t ever get to us. My son doesn’t need to see the way he abuses people. I just don’t understand how he found me.” She took a shuddering breath. “I have a box. I keep it hidden. It holds some cash, my and Levi’s birth certificates, and our passports. Basically, it holds just enough for us if we have to move fast. I’d forgotten about it—never needed to recall it, until he got in touch. That box was always my backup.”

  “And Josh doesn’t know about any of this?”

  “He knows something is wrong. He has since the day I arrived. I guess he was waiting for me to tell him.”

  “Or maybe he guessed,” Taylor said, moving closer to her. He needed to feel her in his arms, needed to smooth out the rawness that consumed her. After hearing the details of her past, Libby affected him even more.

  Shrugging, Libby said, “I don’t know. Maybe. All I know is I won’t risk my son. I have to leave.”

  Taylor reached out, her conviction hitting him hard. “I can’t let you,” he said, framing her face with his hands.

  Her eyes widened, her gaze darting around his face. “What?”

  “Shit. I don’t even know where this is coming from, but I can’t let you leave. I feel . . . I . . . please don’t go. Josh and I can help. I know we can if you let us.”

  Her expression contorted with fear. “No. No way. I refuse to put you and Josh in danger. Once Chase gets close enough, he’ll punish me for keeping him from his son for so long.”

  “You’re not a child, Lib. He can’t punish you. He might not even have seen you.”

  “I know Chase. He wouldn’t be here unless he was onto something.” Her whole body shook as she raised her voice. “You don’t know him. I do. He’d know about the money by now. He’d know it was me who took it. Chase will never give up. He told me as much.”

  Taylor kissed her, long and deep, trying to soothe her terror. He pecked at her nose, cheeks, and forehead, hating the whimpers she tried to muffle. “We’ll figure it out. Let me call my father.” Another kiss. “He has some kick-ass lawyers. They’ll tell us what to do.” She clenched the front of his
plaid shirt. He kissed her again, feeling her grip loosen. “Let me help, babe. Let me try.”

  “I’m lost. I’m scared, Taylor.”

  Combing his fingers into her hair, he brought her mouth back to his. Her kisses could make him lose his train of thought, so maybe he could make her forget about leaving. He began tentatively, then slowly increased the intensity. Her taste was divine, her scent intoxicating. Their tongues slid against one another’s, and Taylor tugged her closer, needing more of her. Libby made a small noise that had his blood surging to his crotch. He pulled away, liking how swollen her lips were.

  “I don’t want to take advantage of this situation. You’re upset, and I might be reading signals from you that aren’t there.” He placed his hands on either side of her neck and felt her shoulders sag as she lowered her hands. He stroked the skin underneath her earlobes, giving her time.

  “My head’s spinning, and I feel sick with anxiety. I have no clue what I should do.” Libby looked right at him. “But I know one thing.”

  “And that is?” He could barely breathe as he anticipated her next words.

  “I want you to keep kissing me.”

  “That’s good. Really good.” Taylor took hold of her hand, tugging her back to the couch. He sat down, and his eyes widened when Libby straddled his lap. “Lib, I—”

  “Please don’t end this, Taylor,” she said, shaking her head. “I need new, clean memories. You can give me that. You can wash away the past.” She shuddered.

  Taylor’s pulse raced. He couldn’t deny how much he wanted her, but he was determined not to rush her. They had grown close, but he had so many issues, and right now she was terrified. For the first time in his life, he questioned his motives. Did he want to make her feel better, or himself?

  They stared at each other, and Taylor admitted to himself that being with Libby was far more important to him than he made out. “Blue, this thing between us . . . I’m no good for you. I’m a drug addict with attachment issues, and you should be running from me as well as Chase.”